Yesterday, we talked about the danger waking up one day as Homer and Marge Simpson. No passion, just complacency. No real marriage…just adult roomies. We talked about combating that by realizing what we have in a spouse and constantly recieving that spouse as a gift from God.
Today – How do we avoid the “Simpson Effect”? – Tender Words and a timely touch! Words of affirmation and a touch of affection turn up the heat in a relationship.
In the following text, we ee one example of how Solomon expressed his passion for and appreciation to his wife….how he kept the fire burning! At first glance, it seems as though he is praising her physical features (which he certainly does in this text and many others ) only but upon closer examination we see him acknowledging her whole person-body, mind, emotion, character, the whole 9 yards!
How beautiful are your sandaled feet, princess! The curves of your thighs are like jewelry, the handiwork of a master. Your navel is a rounded bowl; it never lacks mixed wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat
surrounded by lilies. Your breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle.Your neck is like a tower of ivory,
your eyes like pools in Heshbon by the gate of Bath-rabbim.
Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus. Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel, the hair of your head like purple cloth— a king could be held captive in your tresses.
How beautiful you are and how pleasant, my love, with such delights! Your stature is like a palm tree; your breasts are clusters of fruit. I said, “I will climb the palm tree and take hold of its fruit.” May your breasts be like clusters of grapes, and the fragrance of your breath like apricots. Your mouthis like fine wine— flowing smoothly for my love, gliding past my lips and teeth! – Song of Songs 7:1-9
Understanding The Text-
“navel…waist”- Israelite cutule considered the lower abdomen as the seat of emotions rather than the heart. When Solomon described his wifes navel and waist he wasnt limiting his attraction to her physical beauty but also her character. He compared her character to the best wine and the finest wheat
“nose is like the tower of Lebanon” – at firt glance this doesnt seem like a worthy term of endearment and certainly wouldnt serve well as a pick up line! Truth is, this isnt a reference to size or shape. The tower of Lebanon was an early outpost to guard against suprise attacks. Solomon is applauding his wifes faithfulness and her preperation to stand against assaults on her own morality
“head…Mount Carmel”- Mt Carmel was the most dominant feature of Northern Israel. Intellect was the most dominant feature in on Solomons wife
“purple”- always alludes to royalty
“palm tree” – the imagery here is sexual in nature. Pal trees were often pollinated by taking flowers and tying them to the female tree
Like wine wine“- wine is word picture describing the beloveds love, which she gladly offered the King
Let Us Think…
How would you characterize Solomons communication to his wife?
How do you think Solomons wife might have reacted to these words?
Do you believe that we can use non sexual physical touch to communicate to our spouses that we value them? How so?
We’ve established the fact that a passionless marriage is foreign to a Biblical understanding of what marriage is. We know that we should strive to keep the fires burning! But how? In between the mountain tops of intimacy…how do we maintain passion?
Funny thing about passion…it ebbs and flows. Passion cannot sustain at its peak! There are times for passion, times for easy companionship, times for casual contact. Passion could be described as a treasure locked away for a time when its needed the most. Only the right key can open that treasure up. Homer and Marge have forgotten where…and what that key is.
The key that unlocks the treasure of passion? – Tender Words, Timely Touch. (again, see text above)
The passion they unlock is romantic passion – HEAR ME – romantic passion is NOT a synonym for sex. In fact, intimacy loses signifigance if its not surrounded by other expressions of esteem and love!
Romantic Passion lives and grows in the mind and heart and expresses itself in thouands of ways…all wonderfully fulfilling in the context of a marriage relationship!
Is there true PASSION in your marriage? Have you lost the key or forgotten what it is?
Change that…and be blessed.
Soli Deo Gloria! – Pastor Kyle